Girl with the Questions:
AIM
11:50
!!!
11:50
gosh
11:50
i always knew not to date peers
11:50
then i made the biggest mistake of my life
The Advisor:
11:50
if u dont know, u should just go out w/ him
Girl with the Questions:
AIM
11:50
so now lesson learned
The Advisor:
AIM
11:50
once
11:50
once is kinda the buffer
11:50
if it doesnt go well
11:50
X
11:51
if he's creepy
11:51
X
11:51
make it obvoius u just wanna be friends
11:51
he doenst take the hint
11:51
X
11:51
the alternative is to just X altogether
11:51
and not even go out w/ him
11:51
cuz even i fu tell him
11:51
"i just want to be friends"
11:51
1. he'll just think it's a challenge
Girl with the Questions:
AIM
11:51
HAHA
The Advisor:
AIM
11:52
2. he'll think u're a beeze for thinking he wants anything otherwise, which is bs b/c he ASKED for ur number MORE than once
11:53
which takes me to my subpoints: anytime u ask for a girl's number more than once u're either 2a: desperate; 2b: a perv who wants ass real bad; 2c: not interested in being friends anyway
11:54
that concludes this session of keeping it real
11:54
BAM laywered
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
the scraps of it
MNG: hAHAH yea
MNG: im not really surprised anymore by the level of treachery i face
....
MNG: im not really surprised anymore by the level of treachery i face
....
Friday, June 26, 2009
Daily "Real" Moment: Recognize
MNG: So you worked in the mailroom after having worked for a big corporation AND having gone to a prestigious law school?!
BOSS: Yup. I did, then I realized I shouldn't have. Do you know who I am?! Go f--- yourself!
MNG: True dat.
BOSS: Yup. I did, then I realized I shouldn't have. Do you know who I am?! Go f--- yourself!
MNG: True dat.
Daily "Real" Moment: Cruelty
“I am ashamed of you, Holmes,” said Lestrade with dignity after a few minutes’ silence. “Why should you raise up hopes which you are bound to disappoint? I am not over-tender of heart, but I call it cruel.” (The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - The Boscombe Valley Mystery)
Saturday, June 20, 2009
"Friends"
Guys and Girls can't be friends. How many times have you heard that? Far too often? In the course of keeping it real, I shall provide you with an objective, honest, thorough analysis of why a guy and girl cannot be friends. There is a caveat however. This framework does not apply to douchebags (and you know who you are).
[Note: due to lack of time I have not had a chance to finish the chart for this]
A Categorical Overview:
Phase I: The Encounter
When you first meet a girl, say in a casual setting or in a class, you'll immediately glance (but we all know what you really do is gawk) at the females in the vicinity. Say you then spot a female, she is then filed into one of three categories: 1) "Attractive," 2) Regular, or 3) Ugly.
Attractive is hereafter defined as being physically appealing in both subjective and/or objective terms. Regular is self-explanatory. The girl isn't very enticing at first glance and you probably wouldn't give a second glance if you walked by her on the street or bumped into her in cafe. When it comes to "Ugly" we're talking about "damn this girl didn't just get hit by an ugly stick but the whole damn tree" kind of ugly.
Phase II: Illusory Progress
Say the girl falls into the "Ugly" category. For all extents and purposes, no friendship really develops because in all honesty, what was the purpose in speaking to her? Did you NEED her for something? So if you were going to use her for something then you weren't really trying to be friends with her in the first place then were you? If you have no reason to speak, let alone look, at her, why would you have any relationship with a girl you find ugly anyhow? Exactly.
Assume you found the girl to be "Regular." So now it gets somewhat complex. In this tract, sure it's possible you can become "friends" with the person. But really, when we talk about "friends" are we talking impersonal, once-in-a-while-hellos, and short-one-sentence-instant-messages kind of friends or are we talking about actual friends that you can connect and actually converse with? Assuming you're "friends" with this person, then it's possible you'll discover you have alot in common (you like the same things, you have the same sense of humor, etc.) Now you're in a bind b/c you may start to find yourself attracted to this girl who you originally found to be just another girl but her persnoality has somehow intrigued you. IF you've somehow adamantly cemented yourself as friends with one another then sure, you're just firends. But after you've become attracted to this girl, that's where it gets hairy. SO now you like her. What do you do? If you've got big enough cajones you'll keep it real and find a way to let her know how you feel. Then, either you fail miserably OR she was a beeze to begin with, you find the feeling is unrequited (which we all know is what happens anyway) you're pretty much fcked b/c now she knows you like her and now it's just awkward. Sure, she'll pretend it's all okay but can you really forget the moment of "honesty" you bestowed upon her? No. In all respects she's now "superior" to you b/c you've done nothing but inflate her fragile ego. So you really can't be friends with her now can you? Thought so.
Lets say you found the girl attractive. The moment you laid eyes on her you thought she was cute/pretty/attractive. So then what? Let's say you finally talk to her through some random happenstance, ask yourself this, "are you really trying to be her friend?" No, I thought so. I find it hard, if not unbelievable, that if you find a girl to be attractive your first inclination is to be here "friend." Yea, maybe if you're gay. But lets assume you don't have fruity pebbles. Unless this girl somehow turns out to be some beeze, your goal, be it conscious or unconscious, is to get to know her and ultimately go out with her. That's reality. So, after a few weeks of "chatting" you decide to make your move and make it obvious to her (which should not require much since you should have been keeping it real all this time anyway) that you like her. Then comes . . .
Phase III: Land of the Lost . . . Cause
You confess. You keep it real. You ultimately lose. Okay, fine. In some land of make-believe you win. But in line of keeping it real, come on, do you really? You'll profess your feelings and then what? She'll either 1) feel the same (like I said, probably not going to happen) or 2) you're nothing to her. So now what? After having told her the truth what are you supposed to do? The most ridiculous and presposterous scenario that consistently plays out is that the girl believes you can just be friends. No, you cannot. If you think otherwise then you're simply ignorant. Ignorant and unable to keep it real. The goal was never to be friends. The basis of the "friendship" was attraction and hope (ugh, vomit). With no real friendship to fall back on, what is there really? Nothing. Much like what the guy was to the girl to begin with.
That's how you keep it real.
[Note: due to lack of time I have not had a chance to finish the chart for this]
A Categorical Overview:
Phase I: The Encounter
When you first meet a girl, say in a casual setting or in a class, you'll immediately glance (but we all know what you really do is gawk) at the females in the vicinity. Say you then spot a female, she is then filed into one of three categories: 1) "Attractive," 2) Regular, or 3) Ugly.
Attractive is hereafter defined as being physically appealing in both subjective and/or objective terms. Regular is self-explanatory. The girl isn't very enticing at first glance and you probably wouldn't give a second glance if you walked by her on the street or bumped into her in cafe. When it comes to "Ugly" we're talking about "damn this girl didn't just get hit by an ugly stick but the whole damn tree" kind of ugly.
Phase II: Illusory Progress
Say the girl falls into the "Ugly" category. For all extents and purposes, no friendship really develops because in all honesty, what was the purpose in speaking to her? Did you NEED her for something? So if you were going to use her for something then you weren't really trying to be friends with her in the first place then were you? If you have no reason to speak, let alone look, at her, why would you have any relationship with a girl you find ugly anyhow? Exactly.
Assume you found the girl to be "Regular." So now it gets somewhat complex. In this tract, sure it's possible you can become "friends" with the person. But really, when we talk about "friends" are we talking impersonal, once-in-a-while-hellos, and short-one-sentence-instant-messages kind of friends or are we talking about actual friends that you can connect and actually converse with? Assuming you're "friends" with this person, then it's possible you'll discover you have alot in common (you like the same things, you have the same sense of humor, etc.) Now you're in a bind b/c you may start to find yourself attracted to this girl who you originally found to be just another girl but her persnoality has somehow intrigued you. IF you've somehow adamantly cemented yourself as friends with one another then sure, you're just firends. But after you've become attracted to this girl, that's where it gets hairy. SO now you like her. What do you do? If you've got big enough cajones you'll keep it real and find a way to let her know how you feel. Then, either you fail miserably OR she was a beeze to begin with, you find the feeling is unrequited (which we all know is what happens anyway) you're pretty much fcked b/c now she knows you like her and now it's just awkward. Sure, she'll pretend it's all okay but can you really forget the moment of "honesty" you bestowed upon her? No. In all respects she's now "superior" to you b/c you've done nothing but inflate her fragile ego. So you really can't be friends with her now can you? Thought so.
Lets say you found the girl attractive. The moment you laid eyes on her you thought she was cute/pretty/attractive. So then what? Let's say you finally talk to her through some random happenstance, ask yourself this, "are you really trying to be her friend?" No, I thought so. I find it hard, if not unbelievable, that if you find a girl to be attractive your first inclination is to be here "friend." Yea, maybe if you're gay. But lets assume you don't have fruity pebbles. Unless this girl somehow turns out to be some beeze, your goal, be it conscious or unconscious, is to get to know her and ultimately go out with her. That's reality. So, after a few weeks of "chatting" you decide to make your move and make it obvious to her (which should not require much since you should have been keeping it real all this time anyway) that you like her. Then comes . . .
Phase III: Land of the Lost . . . Cause
You confess. You keep it real. You ultimately lose. Okay, fine. In some land of make-believe you win. But in line of keeping it real, come on, do you really? You'll profess your feelings and then what? She'll either 1) feel the same (like I said, probably not going to happen) or 2) you're nothing to her. So now what? After having told her the truth what are you supposed to do? The most ridiculous and presposterous scenario that consistently plays out is that the girl believes you can just be friends. No, you cannot. If you think otherwise then you're simply ignorant. Ignorant and unable to keep it real. The goal was never to be friends. The basis of the "friendship" was attraction and hope (ugh, vomit). With no real friendship to fall back on, what is there really? Nothing. Much like what the guy was to the girl to begin with.
That's how you keep it real.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
the code of the samurai
"all warriors were expected to adhere to the ethical code, bushido, or the "way of the warrior." Bushido- primarily an informal system of values subject to individual interpretation rather than an explicit set of written rules- advised warriors to live honorably by being mindful of the nearness of death. A warrior was advised to judge his actions in the present moment by looking backward from the moment of his own death - as if he were already dead. An honorable death was highly valued.
the samurai prized virtues such as honesty, courage, benevolence, respect, self-sacrifice, self-control, compliance with duty, and loyalty. These qualities, which contribute to military discipline and efficiency, have always been valued in fighting men. Over time the warriors refined their code to more explicitly encompass their leadership roles in society and their civil responsibilities. In this context, bushido was thought to bring balance and stability to social organization. For the individual, martial prowess was not to take the form of unbridled aggression, and civil deference was not to give way to weakness."
now THAT, is keeping it real.
so samurai it.
the samurai prized virtues such as honesty, courage, benevolence, respect, self-sacrifice, self-control, compliance with duty, and loyalty. These qualities, which contribute to military discipline and efficiency, have always been valued in fighting men. Over time the warriors refined their code to more explicitly encompass their leadership roles in society and their civil responsibilities. In this context, bushido was thought to bring balance and stability to social organization. For the individual, martial prowess was not to take the form of unbridled aggression, and civil deference was not to give way to weakness."
now THAT, is keeping it real.
so samurai it.
Friday, June 12, 2009
the ridiculous
people may be under the misconception that when we say people need to "keep it real," that applies only to that girl that you like, or the guy that you like.
negatory.
the concept of keeping it real applies to all facets of life, whether it's keeping it real with a treacherous friend who turned out never to have really been your friend at all, that professor/employer who said they would contact you but never did, or that psycho boss that undermines you when you are obviously smarter, better, and way more qualified than being at that clothing store working under his petty mannerisms. (true stories).
frankly, ridiculousness is one of the things that makes me the most angry. it's actually a broad concept that encompasses despicable things such as: cheating, lying, betrayal, etc. ridiculousness is when someone goes against common sense/courtesy and basic principles of human nature and instead drown themselves in stupidity to try to justify themselves. ridiculousness is selfishness, never considering the feelings and thoughts of other people and putting your own selfish needs first all the while expecting the other to fully understand and adhere to YOUR schedule/wants/desires.
in the end, ridiculousness is just a pathetic excuse.
so this is the story about this ridiculous old man ( "ROM"). while a lot of it might not make sense to you, reader, all that really matters is that you take away not the facts of the story, but the lesson from the story, and then thus apply the lesson into your own life or share it with a friend... and that will slowly support our campaign to start changing the world, one person at a time. the characteristics of ROM, you may find, are a lot like beezies. it was then that i started realizing that the term "beeze" (pl. beezies) isn't a term for girls who are selfish/attention whores/sluts/flirts etc., but it's more of a human trait that girls and even guys (meezy, meezies) have. in the end what happened was that ROM ended up calling me on the weekend about my work schedule (that he wanted to change it), and later on tuesday TEXTED me about how i needed to return some thing that i borrowed from him by handing it off to another intern, and that he had told the restaurant that i was reviewing that i did not "represent" him anymore.
-____-
so the next morning i went into the office. i dropped the hammer on that fool.
1) i came in here to give you the camera in person because it's ridiculous to involve a third party in this.
2) i came in here to talk to you in person because it's ridiculous and definitely not professional to call, but more importantly, TEXT, someone that bs instead of just calling them into the office.
3)i came in here to clarify any misconception that you may have been having about me going around saying i was "representing" you in any way. he swears.
4) i came in here to say thank you for the opportunity and that i learned something while i was here.
5) i came in here to say i wish you success on the rest of your work.
but the ridiculousness didn't have anything to do with the way that he handled the situation and was accusing me of going around "representing" him.
the ridiculousness happened about three minutes after i dropped the hammer. i left the building feeling really good that i actually went in and had the face to face confrontation. so i was driving away, and i got a phone call from him. um. thinking that i may have left something at the office i picked up. in short, he asked me if i felt bad/sad about being let go. i said, "no.. if i felt bad/sad about it, would i even have confronted you face to face about it?"
and i honestly was not sad about it. it had no bearing on my career and it was purely for my own fun and doing a hobby. so after i said that, ROM asked me to go to coffee later that day.
?!?!?
i said that i was busy (which i was, i had planned to go to happy hour with my friend) and that i was not free for coffee. then he proceeded to ask about coffee the NEXT day. i said i had to go.
ridiculousness.
negatory.
the concept of keeping it real applies to all facets of life, whether it's keeping it real with a treacherous friend who turned out never to have really been your friend at all, that professor/employer who said they would contact you but never did, or that psycho boss that undermines you when you are obviously smarter, better, and way more qualified than being at that clothing store working under his petty mannerisms. (true stories).
frankly, ridiculousness is one of the things that makes me the most angry. it's actually a broad concept that encompasses despicable things such as: cheating, lying, betrayal, etc. ridiculousness is when someone goes against common sense/courtesy and basic principles of human nature and instead drown themselves in stupidity to try to justify themselves. ridiculousness is selfishness, never considering the feelings and thoughts of other people and putting your own selfish needs first all the while expecting the other to fully understand and adhere to YOUR schedule/wants/desires.
in the end, ridiculousness is just a pathetic excuse.
so this is the story about this ridiculous old man ( "ROM"). while a lot of it might not make sense to you, reader, all that really matters is that you take away not the facts of the story, but the lesson from the story, and then thus apply the lesson into your own life or share it with a friend... and that will slowly support our campaign to start changing the world, one person at a time. the characteristics of ROM, you may find, are a lot like beezies. it was then that i started realizing that the term "beeze" (pl. beezies) isn't a term for girls who are selfish/attention whores/sluts/flirts etc., but it's more of a human trait that girls and even guys (meezy, meezies) have. in the end what happened was that ROM ended up calling me on the weekend about my work schedule (that he wanted to change it), and later on tuesday TEXTED me about how i needed to return some thing that i borrowed from him by handing it off to another intern, and that he had told the restaurant that i was reviewing that i did not "represent" him anymore.
-____-
so the next morning i went into the office. i dropped the hammer on that fool.
1) i came in here to give you the camera in person because it's ridiculous to involve a third party in this.
2) i came in here to talk to you in person because it's ridiculous and definitely not professional to call, but more importantly, TEXT, someone that bs instead of just calling them into the office.
3)i came in here to clarify any misconception that you may have been having about me going around saying i was "representing" you in any way. he swears.
4) i came in here to say thank you for the opportunity and that i learned something while i was here.
5) i came in here to say i wish you success on the rest of your work.
but the ridiculousness didn't have anything to do with the way that he handled the situation and was accusing me of going around "representing" him.
the ridiculousness happened about three minutes after i dropped the hammer. i left the building feeling really good that i actually went in and had the face to face confrontation. so i was driving away, and i got a phone call from him. um. thinking that i may have left something at the office i picked up. in short, he asked me if i felt bad/sad about being let go. i said, "no.. if i felt bad/sad about it, would i even have confronted you face to face about it?"
and i honestly was not sad about it. it had no bearing on my career and it was purely for my own fun and doing a hobby. so after i said that, ROM asked me to go to coffee later that day.
?!?!?
i said that i was busy (which i was, i had planned to go to happy hour with my friend) and that i was not free for coffee. then he proceeded to ask about coffee the NEXT day. i said i had to go.
ridiculousness.
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