MNG: hAHAH yea
MNG: im not really surprised anymore by the level of treachery i face
....
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Daily "Real" Moment: Recognize
MNG: So you worked in the mailroom after having worked for a big corporation AND having gone to a prestigious law school?!
BOSS: Yup. I did, then I realized I shouldn't have. Do you know who I am?! Go f--- yourself!
MNG: True dat.
BOSS: Yup. I did, then I realized I shouldn't have. Do you know who I am?! Go f--- yourself!
MNG: True dat.
Daily "Real" Moment: Cruelty
“I am ashamed of you, Holmes,” said Lestrade with dignity after a few minutes’ silence. “Why should you raise up hopes which you are bound to disappoint? I am not over-tender of heart, but I call it cruel.” (The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - The Boscombe Valley Mystery)
Saturday, June 20, 2009
"Friends"
Guys and Girls can't be friends. How many times have you heard that? Far too often? In the course of keeping it real, I shall provide you with an objective, honest, thorough analysis of why a guy and girl cannot be friends. There is a caveat however. This framework does not apply to douchebags (and you know who you are).
[Note: due to lack of time I have not had a chance to finish the chart for this]
A Categorical Overview:
Phase I: The Encounter
When you first meet a girl, say in a casual setting or in a class, you'll immediately glance (but we all know what you really do is gawk) at the females in the vicinity. Say you then spot a female, she is then filed into one of three categories: 1) "Attractive," 2) Regular, or 3) Ugly.
Attractive is hereafter defined as being physically appealing in both subjective and/or objective terms. Regular is self-explanatory. The girl isn't very enticing at first glance and you probably wouldn't give a second glance if you walked by her on the street or bumped into her in cafe. When it comes to "Ugly" we're talking about "damn this girl didn't just get hit by an ugly stick but the whole damn tree" kind of ugly.
Phase II: Illusory Progress
Say the girl falls into the "Ugly" category. For all extents and purposes, no friendship really develops because in all honesty, what was the purpose in speaking to her? Did you NEED her for something? So if you were going to use her for something then you weren't really trying to be friends with her in the first place then were you? If you have no reason to speak, let alone look, at her, why would you have any relationship with a girl you find ugly anyhow? Exactly.
Assume you found the girl to be "Regular." So now it gets somewhat complex. In this tract, sure it's possible you can become "friends" with the person. But really, when we talk about "friends" are we talking impersonal, once-in-a-while-hellos, and short-one-sentence-instant-messages kind of friends or are we talking about actual friends that you can connect and actually converse with? Assuming you're "friends" with this person, then it's possible you'll discover you have alot in common (you like the same things, you have the same sense of humor, etc.) Now you're in a bind b/c you may start to find yourself attracted to this girl who you originally found to be just another girl but her persnoality has somehow intrigued you. IF you've somehow adamantly cemented yourself as friends with one another then sure, you're just firends. But after you've become attracted to this girl, that's where it gets hairy. SO now you like her. What do you do? If you've got big enough cajones you'll keep it real and find a way to let her know how you feel. Then, either you fail miserably OR she was a beeze to begin with, you find the feeling is unrequited (which we all know is what happens anyway) you're pretty much fcked b/c now she knows you like her and now it's just awkward. Sure, she'll pretend it's all okay but can you really forget the moment of "honesty" you bestowed upon her? No. In all respects she's now "superior" to you b/c you've done nothing but inflate her fragile ego. So you really can't be friends with her now can you? Thought so.
Lets say you found the girl attractive. The moment you laid eyes on her you thought she was cute/pretty/attractive. So then what? Let's say you finally talk to her through some random happenstance, ask yourself this, "are you really trying to be her friend?" No, I thought so. I find it hard, if not unbelievable, that if you find a girl to be attractive your first inclination is to be here "friend." Yea, maybe if you're gay. But lets assume you don't have fruity pebbles. Unless this girl somehow turns out to be some beeze, your goal, be it conscious or unconscious, is to get to know her and ultimately go out with her. That's reality. So, after a few weeks of "chatting" you decide to make your move and make it obvious to her (which should not require much since you should have been keeping it real all this time anyway) that you like her. Then comes . . .
Phase III: Land of the Lost . . . Cause
You confess. You keep it real. You ultimately lose. Okay, fine. In some land of make-believe you win. But in line of keeping it real, come on, do you really? You'll profess your feelings and then what? She'll either 1) feel the same (like I said, probably not going to happen) or 2) you're nothing to her. So now what? After having told her the truth what are you supposed to do? The most ridiculous and presposterous scenario that consistently plays out is that the girl believes you can just be friends. No, you cannot. If you think otherwise then you're simply ignorant. Ignorant and unable to keep it real. The goal was never to be friends. The basis of the "friendship" was attraction and hope (ugh, vomit). With no real friendship to fall back on, what is there really? Nothing. Much like what the guy was to the girl to begin with.
That's how you keep it real.
[Note: due to lack of time I have not had a chance to finish the chart for this]
A Categorical Overview:
Phase I: The Encounter
When you first meet a girl, say in a casual setting or in a class, you'll immediately glance (but we all know what you really do is gawk) at the females in the vicinity. Say you then spot a female, she is then filed into one of three categories: 1) "Attractive," 2) Regular, or 3) Ugly.
Attractive is hereafter defined as being physically appealing in both subjective and/or objective terms. Regular is self-explanatory. The girl isn't very enticing at first glance and you probably wouldn't give a second glance if you walked by her on the street or bumped into her in cafe. When it comes to "Ugly" we're talking about "damn this girl didn't just get hit by an ugly stick but the whole damn tree" kind of ugly.
Phase II: Illusory Progress
Say the girl falls into the "Ugly" category. For all extents and purposes, no friendship really develops because in all honesty, what was the purpose in speaking to her? Did you NEED her for something? So if you were going to use her for something then you weren't really trying to be friends with her in the first place then were you? If you have no reason to speak, let alone look, at her, why would you have any relationship with a girl you find ugly anyhow? Exactly.
Assume you found the girl to be "Regular." So now it gets somewhat complex. In this tract, sure it's possible you can become "friends" with the person. But really, when we talk about "friends" are we talking impersonal, once-in-a-while-hellos, and short-one-sentence-instant-messages kind of friends or are we talking about actual friends that you can connect and actually converse with? Assuming you're "friends" with this person, then it's possible you'll discover you have alot in common (you like the same things, you have the same sense of humor, etc.) Now you're in a bind b/c you may start to find yourself attracted to this girl who you originally found to be just another girl but her persnoality has somehow intrigued you. IF you've somehow adamantly cemented yourself as friends with one another then sure, you're just firends. But after you've become attracted to this girl, that's where it gets hairy. SO now you like her. What do you do? If you've got big enough cajones you'll keep it real and find a way to let her know how you feel. Then, either you fail miserably OR she was a beeze to begin with, you find the feeling is unrequited (which we all know is what happens anyway) you're pretty much fcked b/c now she knows you like her and now it's just awkward. Sure, she'll pretend it's all okay but can you really forget the moment of "honesty" you bestowed upon her? No. In all respects she's now "superior" to you b/c you've done nothing but inflate her fragile ego. So you really can't be friends with her now can you? Thought so.
Lets say you found the girl attractive. The moment you laid eyes on her you thought she was cute/pretty/attractive. So then what? Let's say you finally talk to her through some random happenstance, ask yourself this, "are you really trying to be her friend?" No, I thought so. I find it hard, if not unbelievable, that if you find a girl to be attractive your first inclination is to be here "friend." Yea, maybe if you're gay. But lets assume you don't have fruity pebbles. Unless this girl somehow turns out to be some beeze, your goal, be it conscious or unconscious, is to get to know her and ultimately go out with her. That's reality. So, after a few weeks of "chatting" you decide to make your move and make it obvious to her (which should not require much since you should have been keeping it real all this time anyway) that you like her. Then comes . . .
Phase III: Land of the Lost . . . Cause
You confess. You keep it real. You ultimately lose. Okay, fine. In some land of make-believe you win. But in line of keeping it real, come on, do you really? You'll profess your feelings and then what? She'll either 1) feel the same (like I said, probably not going to happen) or 2) you're nothing to her. So now what? After having told her the truth what are you supposed to do? The most ridiculous and presposterous scenario that consistently plays out is that the girl believes you can just be friends. No, you cannot. If you think otherwise then you're simply ignorant. Ignorant and unable to keep it real. The goal was never to be friends. The basis of the "friendship" was attraction and hope (ugh, vomit). With no real friendship to fall back on, what is there really? Nothing. Much like what the guy was to the girl to begin with.
That's how you keep it real.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
the code of the samurai
"all warriors were expected to adhere to the ethical code, bushido, or the "way of the warrior." Bushido- primarily an informal system of values subject to individual interpretation rather than an explicit set of written rules- advised warriors to live honorably by being mindful of the nearness of death. A warrior was advised to judge his actions in the present moment by looking backward from the moment of his own death - as if he were already dead. An honorable death was highly valued.
the samurai prized virtues such as honesty, courage, benevolence, respect, self-sacrifice, self-control, compliance with duty, and loyalty. These qualities, which contribute to military discipline and efficiency, have always been valued in fighting men. Over time the warriors refined their code to more explicitly encompass their leadership roles in society and their civil responsibilities. In this context, bushido was thought to bring balance and stability to social organization. For the individual, martial prowess was not to take the form of unbridled aggression, and civil deference was not to give way to weakness."
now THAT, is keeping it real.
so samurai it.
the samurai prized virtues such as honesty, courage, benevolence, respect, self-sacrifice, self-control, compliance with duty, and loyalty. These qualities, which contribute to military discipline and efficiency, have always been valued in fighting men. Over time the warriors refined their code to more explicitly encompass their leadership roles in society and their civil responsibilities. In this context, bushido was thought to bring balance and stability to social organization. For the individual, martial prowess was not to take the form of unbridled aggression, and civil deference was not to give way to weakness."
now THAT, is keeping it real.
so samurai it.
Friday, June 12, 2009
the ridiculous
people may be under the misconception that when we say people need to "keep it real," that applies only to that girl that you like, or the guy that you like.
negatory.
the concept of keeping it real applies to all facets of life, whether it's keeping it real with a treacherous friend who turned out never to have really been your friend at all, that professor/employer who said they would contact you but never did, or that psycho boss that undermines you when you are obviously smarter, better, and way more qualified than being at that clothing store working under his petty mannerisms. (true stories).
frankly, ridiculousness is one of the things that makes me the most angry. it's actually a broad concept that encompasses despicable things such as: cheating, lying, betrayal, etc. ridiculousness is when someone goes against common sense/courtesy and basic principles of human nature and instead drown themselves in stupidity to try to justify themselves. ridiculousness is selfishness, never considering the feelings and thoughts of other people and putting your own selfish needs first all the while expecting the other to fully understand and adhere to YOUR schedule/wants/desires.
in the end, ridiculousness is just a pathetic excuse.
so this is the story about this ridiculous old man ( "ROM"). while a lot of it might not make sense to you, reader, all that really matters is that you take away not the facts of the story, but the lesson from the story, and then thus apply the lesson into your own life or share it with a friend... and that will slowly support our campaign to start changing the world, one person at a time. the characteristics of ROM, you may find, are a lot like beezies. it was then that i started realizing that the term "beeze" (pl. beezies) isn't a term for girls who are selfish/attention whores/sluts/flirts etc., but it's more of a human trait that girls and even guys (meezy, meezies) have. in the end what happened was that ROM ended up calling me on the weekend about my work schedule (that he wanted to change it), and later on tuesday TEXTED me about how i needed to return some thing that i borrowed from him by handing it off to another intern, and that he had told the restaurant that i was reviewing that i did not "represent" him anymore.
-____-
so the next morning i went into the office. i dropped the hammer on that fool.
1) i came in here to give you the camera in person because it's ridiculous to involve a third party in this.
2) i came in here to talk to you in person because it's ridiculous and definitely not professional to call, but more importantly, TEXT, someone that bs instead of just calling them into the office.
3)i came in here to clarify any misconception that you may have been having about me going around saying i was "representing" you in any way. he swears.
4) i came in here to say thank you for the opportunity and that i learned something while i was here.
5) i came in here to say i wish you success on the rest of your work.
but the ridiculousness didn't have anything to do with the way that he handled the situation and was accusing me of going around "representing" him.
the ridiculousness happened about three minutes after i dropped the hammer. i left the building feeling really good that i actually went in and had the face to face confrontation. so i was driving away, and i got a phone call from him. um. thinking that i may have left something at the office i picked up. in short, he asked me if i felt bad/sad about being let go. i said, "no.. if i felt bad/sad about it, would i even have confronted you face to face about it?"
and i honestly was not sad about it. it had no bearing on my career and it was purely for my own fun and doing a hobby. so after i said that, ROM asked me to go to coffee later that day.
?!?!?
i said that i was busy (which i was, i had planned to go to happy hour with my friend) and that i was not free for coffee. then he proceeded to ask about coffee the NEXT day. i said i had to go.
ridiculousness.
negatory.
the concept of keeping it real applies to all facets of life, whether it's keeping it real with a treacherous friend who turned out never to have really been your friend at all, that professor/employer who said they would contact you but never did, or that psycho boss that undermines you when you are obviously smarter, better, and way more qualified than being at that clothing store working under his petty mannerisms. (true stories).
frankly, ridiculousness is one of the things that makes me the most angry. it's actually a broad concept that encompasses despicable things such as: cheating, lying, betrayal, etc. ridiculousness is when someone goes against common sense/courtesy and basic principles of human nature and instead drown themselves in stupidity to try to justify themselves. ridiculousness is selfishness, never considering the feelings and thoughts of other people and putting your own selfish needs first all the while expecting the other to fully understand and adhere to YOUR schedule/wants/desires.
in the end, ridiculousness is just a pathetic excuse.
so this is the story about this ridiculous old man ( "ROM"). while a lot of it might not make sense to you, reader, all that really matters is that you take away not the facts of the story, but the lesson from the story, and then thus apply the lesson into your own life or share it with a friend... and that will slowly support our campaign to start changing the world, one person at a time. the characteristics of ROM, you may find, are a lot like beezies. it was then that i started realizing that the term "beeze" (pl. beezies) isn't a term for girls who are selfish/attention whores/sluts/flirts etc., but it's more of a human trait that girls and even guys (meezy, meezies) have. in the end what happened was that ROM ended up calling me on the weekend about my work schedule (that he wanted to change it), and later on tuesday TEXTED me about how i needed to return some thing that i borrowed from him by handing it off to another intern, and that he had told the restaurant that i was reviewing that i did not "represent" him anymore.
-____-
so the next morning i went into the office. i dropped the hammer on that fool.
1) i came in here to give you the camera in person because it's ridiculous to involve a third party in this.
2) i came in here to talk to you in person because it's ridiculous and definitely not professional to call, but more importantly, TEXT, someone that bs instead of just calling them into the office.
3)i came in here to clarify any misconception that you may have been having about me going around saying i was "representing" you in any way. he swears.
4) i came in here to say thank you for the opportunity and that i learned something while i was here.
5) i came in here to say i wish you success on the rest of your work.
but the ridiculousness didn't have anything to do with the way that he handled the situation and was accusing me of going around "representing" him.
the ridiculousness happened about three minutes after i dropped the hammer. i left the building feeling really good that i actually went in and had the face to face confrontation. so i was driving away, and i got a phone call from him. um. thinking that i may have left something at the office i picked up. in short, he asked me if i felt bad/sad about being let go. i said, "no.. if i felt bad/sad about it, would i even have confronted you face to face about it?"
and i honestly was not sad about it. it had no bearing on my career and it was purely for my own fun and doing a hobby. so after i said that, ROM asked me to go to coffee later that day.
?!?!?
i said that i was busy (which i was, i had planned to go to happy hour with my friend) and that i was not free for coffee. then he proceeded to ask about coffee the NEXT day. i said i had to go.
ridiculousness.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
sherlock this.
"But love
is an emotional thing, and whatever is emotional
is opposed to that true cold reason which I place
above all things."
is an emotional thing, and whatever is emotional
is opposed to that true cold reason which I place
above all things."
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Daily "Real" Moment: I Refuse to Lose
K = Keeper of Reality
MNG = Mr. Nice Guy
K: everything in life is a choice K: you already know what i would say K: i think u really just need to think about this
K: i know its hard K: mng
K: you're one of the few guy friends that i actually trust to have potential to break out of the norms of douchebaggery MNG: yea K: look K: so you slap Hope in the face
MNG = Mr. Nice Guy
K: everything in life is a choice
but now i feel like this is YOUR choice
cuz she made HERS a long time ago
MNG: to be an idiot?
K: i know you know these things
and i know i'm coming off harsh
and i know it's very hard
and it sucks
MNG: eh yea
K: regardless, i support you, cuz you're my friend
you need to REALLY think, about the last few years
all those painful moments with her
just... everything
but most of all you have to be ready to make a choice and say when enough is enough.
you can't say, im going to do X and then waver.
that's just being a beeze.
choices are hard.
but think about yourself for once what are you going to do, wait until she gets married
just wait around?
you're too good for that
and honestly.. while she has a boyfriend, you need to stay away
if u were the boyfriend, i know you wouldn't appreciate it
MNG: yes.....obviously
K: and i know if some guy did that to you
like took your girlfriend out to dinner movie, paid for everything
there'd be some major ass kicking
by me.
MNG: dammit
K: im keeping it f'ing real here
MNG: u're right
K: and i know you know
and i know im right.
if she breaks up with her bf in the future
and u guys start talking again
thats FINE
how can you write yourself the letter (K is referring to the "Please Stop MNG" letter which will be posted soon) and not follow it
MNG: u're right
K: the heart will fail you
and you can't trust it
you are better than this.
do you hear me.
MNG: 'sigh'
K: i cannot and WILL not. stand. my quality friends to be USED
and just tossed to the side
by unappreciative girls
you're better than this
you're freaking A class.
MNG: yea, i need to stay away
K: do not downgrade.
stay away
you know that's the right thing to do
not the easiest thing.
but we're always about the RIGHT thing
and following principle.
aside from your feelings, ... this PRINCIPLE.. is the RIGHT principle.
MNG: GAH
you're right
K: im just saying
out of respect for HER decision
and for you to NOT look like a douchebag
keep your hands clean.
MNG: dammit
do not fail me.
i gotta stop
obviously shes not going to help you out here
she KNOWS
i know its easier to err on the side of, " oh so she knows and wants to spend time with me so maybe she somewhat likes me too"
but who is LOSING in the end?
only you, mng
i refuse to let you lose.
we never lose, mng. we win.
MNG: ...
K: do you hear that? you are a WINNER and you refuse to lose.
MNG: F
dammit
I REFUSE TO LOSE!
K: exactly
hope is for the weak, and hope isn't real.
hope is the drug that beezies use to hook you in, like an addiction.
who gets fcked in the end. you.
you THINK. about this.
but you THINK about the TOTALITY of the CIRCUMSTANCES. and most importantly you think about who YOU are.
THAT, is how you keep it real.
THAT, is how you keep it real.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Mission Statement
People these days simply can't handle the truth. Things are masked in pleasantries and concerns about how someone will "feel." Well, let me just tell you this: feelings are for the weak. The world would be a much simpler, happier, and efficient place if people just kept things real. No lies. No euphemisms. No half-truths. I'm talking simple, concise, and clear honesty. You don't like someone? Keep it real. You have an issue with someone? Keep it real. And to be honest, half (which isn't really true but I'm just being nice since MOST of you are treacherous unprincipled motherf-ers anyway) simply lack the ability to keep things real. That's where we come in.
Unfortunately, people tiptoe around issues that matter, all the while driving themselves insane with contemplation. Sure, some of you are simply too idiotic to process certain matters in the correct, principled manner, thus, requiring us to begin this endeavor.
So stay tuned, or not, I could really care less, because we will continue to bring you accounts of reality in such undiluted, untarnished, unbridled, and unrestrained fashion that you'll be second guessing the so-called fake existence you've been leading.
You remember that time when a guy asked you (the girl) to go do something, like watch a movie, and you replied with, "okay!" when in reality you really didn't want to but you felt bad? That's called being fake or in other words, a beeze. Keeping it real would have entailed you turning him down flat, crushing any and all future hope he has. Sure, you risked hurting his "feelings" but at least he wasn't given the wrong impression, hoping to try again.
THAT, is how you keep it real.
Unfortunately, people tiptoe around issues that matter, all the while driving themselves insane with contemplation. Sure, some of you are simply too idiotic to process certain matters in the correct, principled manner, thus, requiring us to begin this endeavor.
So stay tuned, or not, I could really care less, because we will continue to bring you accounts of reality in such undiluted, untarnished, unbridled, and unrestrained fashion that you'll be second guessing the so-called fake existence you've been leading.
You remember that time when a guy asked you (the girl) to go do something, like watch a movie, and you replied with, "okay!" when in reality you really didn't want to but you felt bad? That's called being fake or in other words, a beeze. Keeping it real would have entailed you turning him down flat, crushing any and all future hope he has. Sure, you risked hurting his "feelings" but at least he wasn't given the wrong impression, hoping to try again.
THAT, is how you keep it real.
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